January- it could be worse!

January 6th, 2025

January, usually a difficult month for me (my husband and friends claim it’s the same for everyone), but after my fall January- for me- became a month of “what’s the point?” and “how am I supposed to go on?”

But this year, without even realizing it I passed the six year mark of the day I fell.

Absolutely wild.

For years the 2nd of January was a see-saw day- me swinging wildly between over-the-top gratitude I had survived and extreme sadness that I had fallen in the first place.

Lot of gifts and snacks.

I mean, how can a person make a new years resolution when they genuinely don’t know what they’ll be capable of?

But this year- 2025- January 2nd was editing- going through my final version of WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME as I prepare to send out queries before my trip to Australia later this month.

I didn’t even notice the date until I’d already read a full chapter of Harry Potter to my daughter and tucked her in.

Funny thing is, without even meaning to I’d spent half the time I was reading out loud to her thinking how I was in a heaven I’d be happy to stay in for all time.

Strange that for years I felt like everything I was doing was adding up to nothing- two years of practicing the same exercises to make my eyes focus for me to be able to read three paragraphs in extreme pain vs. two paragraphs in extreme pain (one of the many things I had to do to regain a dozen or so physical and mental losses- and actually,I used to joke that recovering from a serious head injury wasn’t two steps forward, one step back, it was being paralyzed on a circular staircase using nothing but your fingertips to push you upwards- a centimeter at a time- while falling back a few steps every month or so).

And yet here I am, I made it.

Not pain free (is anyone?) but living better then I did before my accident.

I think the same is true for my writing career.

Editing for an hour, writing an hour, making this post, editing my query letter…a lot of small moments that don’t seem to add up to anything…

Until suddenly- they do.