Well…that went well…? (Viral video!)

March 24th, 2024

I decided to give actually being present and engaging on my TikTok a try- seeing as I’m working on my novel about being a social media influencer I gave myself the task of uploading a video everyday for a month and living like I’m actually under the pressure to create and as if someone is watching.

I thought it would be a psychological game I would have to play with myself- pretending more than a- but then…

I went viral!

After three days of posts a clip of mine hit over half a million likes and 5.7 million views in less than forty eight hours.

It was absolutely wild- I went from almost never checking my social media to having to take breaks from my normal life because my phone was vibrating non-stop.

And I learned something…

Looking down and seeing that you have over 90,000 notifications makes you feel a lot of feelings.

Excited, overwhelmed, happy, nervous, fearful, resentful, hopeful, curious…all at once, overlapping and swirling, making you lightheaded but also firmly rooted in that moment where you feel like others are watching you.

And as my video climbed in views I became a little anxious- the comments took a turn from those who liked my video to those who thought I was an idiot as it became more widespread, and all the while to act like nothing was happening because I wasn’t actually famous on any level so no one at my work or in my real life had any idea what was going on.

Feeling confused about whether to share this with the people in my real life- or would that be bragging? And about what? A quick clip of me questioning Elon Musk’s intelligence? Was it really that good?
Or was it?

The end result is that, because of both the encouragement and the negative comments, I am even more inspired to post.

I am continuing my experiment and posting everyday for a full month to experience as much as I can- to ensure my story and my main character Mel are as true as they can be for fiction.

Again- wish me luck :)

New Book I’m Working on- F***, Marry, Kill

March 10th 2025

OK. So I made it through my querying round and the no thank yous and requests are coming in!

But does that mean it’s break time? Absolutely not.

I’ve got fourteen books outline- should I start on one of those?

Again, absolutely not. Because I had the most amazing idea for a book last month and immediately outlined it and am obsessed with it.

Fuck, Marry, Kill- a trio of DJ/social media influencers who became famous partly for their music- mostly for their love triangle. But Mel (our pink haired trickster and heroine) ended up marrying Eamon (the all-american hero who is actually British and everyone wants to marry)- leaving Leo (too-sexy for life sweetheart millionaire with one-too-many addictive behaviors) to write love song after love song for her and became the most famous of the three.

But when Eamon cheats, Mel and Eamon are forced to keep up appearances of the “perfect married couple” for their social media followers- and income- until they find new lines of work.

And when Eamon is murdered…everyone’s pointing the finger at Mel…who, as usual, has no idea whats going on.

Now she has to find the murdered all while convincing her followers, her friends, the police, and her in laws that she’s not Eamon’s killer-

Before she ends up dead herself.

Wish me luck-

LB

Social Media- Why I Actually Love it

February 18th,

My last post was about how can we use social media still when we know the negatives.

And now this one is about why I do use TikTok, and how when I back away from my rage over how the country is going and how I don’t want to be handing over anything to those in charge I realize how much I can- and do- relate to every single person refusing to give up their socials.

Because they are so very important. We are so disconnected, so busy trying to keep our heads above water, that the shares and laughs and, yes, even fights and dramas that occur on social media are so very much an integral part our human existence that I literally cannot imagine life without it all.

I grew up in a violent home, where my mother and father had all the control. And while I was absolutely one of those kids who tried to get help dozens of times did I ever consider running away? Absolutely not. Because that’s where my little brother and sister were, and our relationships- for better or worse were what kept me alive.

Even today, I hop on Tiktok and get my news, see a handful of my in-real-life friends and dozens of my digital friends in the midst of their own lives. When my day seems pointless, or hopeless, or like I am frustrated it is these moments of being shared with- and then me sharing- that help me put that foot in front of the other and keep on.

I am so grateful for my friends, and also my social media friends.

Things can be both bad and good, I would argue that most things are- especially when they’re connected with human beings so why do we expect differently from social media?

Social Media? Really?

February 11, 2025

Today I am back from Australia after more than three weeks away, back to homeschooling my daughter, and have been hit with something I can’t believe I have to ask.

Are people still using Facebook/Instagram/Twitter? Really? How?
Seriously. How can we be so careless?

I cannot believe I am still being asked for my social media information, as if I hadn’t deleted all of that nonsense the moment it became clear they were all tools for manipulation and destruction of our society. As if this last election didn’t prove without a shadow of a doubt that these are not for sharing information with each other, but giving it to monsters who need it for their own support.

And this isn’t some sort of conspiracy theory rant.

We know Facebook/Meta/Instagram manipulates content to push conservative theories, we know alongside Twitter/X that the billionaire oligarch owners are making it easier for white supremacists sexists to spread hate and moronic lies. TikTok appears to be the only place that is slightly less disturbingly dystopian, but that has been changing these last few weeks and I am waiting for the day that i can no longer watch anything libreal (I already have had to block Meta three times).

And yet- some people are staying active on these forums? Why?????
I cannot imagine a more selfish thing.

Are these same people still using Amazon? Do people not realize that for change to happen- they have to change?
How are oligarchs going to lose their grip on you if you won’t let go first?

My friends, writers and non-writers, have all been off social media and off Amazon for months now, it is shocking to me that others aren’t. It is shocking to me that more people are not standing strong and deciding that sending a message about what will be tolerated is more important than a like or a following.

I guess this is how we got here. Still, I’m shocked.

Trying new blog format, because that last one made no sense to me.

When/How do you write?

January 13, 2025

When I tell people I’ve written not just one book, but five, in the last three years I always get the same questions.

“Where do you get the ideas/stories?” and “When do you find the time to write?”

For the first question- I always say the same thing “they just come to me.”
But that isn’t quite the truth.

Honestly, I don’t seem to need as much sleep as other people. It sounds unfair but hear me out how it’s actually been weird for me.

When I was a child, the monotony of life KILLED me. I didn’t need to sleep from 9 am until 7 am like my siblings, in school I was done with everything before anyone else, and I was constantly bored staring at nothing.

This is when I started to tell myself stories. Because honestly, the alternative was not worth it- if I told my parents or my teachers that I was finished/staying awake until 1 am I would have been punished or given more meaningless work.

So I would tell myself a story. Again and again. A new story, always telling myself something fantastic, trying to figure out how to make it as exciting as possible.

When I entered middle school and was given access to a library, I became obsessed with reading (in my home books were limited, although I had read every single romance and Dean Koontz book my parents owned several times over) and in classrooms there were always fairy tales and books I’d almost memorized- libraries were an exciting, new thing for my seventh grade mind.

And to this day, when I’m bored or can’t sleep, I go over one of my stories. Again and again, trying to find the most interesting thing to happen, or letting my characters go wild and see what they do. Everyday I brainstorm in this way, and I probably have new story ideas every week or so.

Since the new year I have “paragraph outlined” (meaning the general idea of a story- usually five to seven sentences- vs. full outline- where I go through the entire story) two new books. Both of them I am obsessed with, and have to mentally push to the back of my mind to focus on what I’m doing everyday.

One was inspired by my signing up for my daughter’s fine arts camp this summer, the other playing the introduction to the Hogwarts Legacy game. One a story about missing children during a summer camp being a cover for a familial murder/suicide, the other a story about a daughter realizing she lives in a simulation and that she has to overpower her own mother so she and the other children can escape (a lot of AI suspense in this one!)

I’m so excited to begin working on both.

And when do I write? Whenever I can! Everyday- before working out in the morning, before bed in the evening, in the parking lot of my daughter’s dance school, before a meeting with a client at the coffee shop, on the airplane (one of my favorites!)

I truly cannot wait until I can write full time and leave my day job behind :)